It's Not Okay to be a Man

    There was a time, long ago, when the survival and continuance of our species was still in question, when the fundamental drives that make us men were not only acceptable, but were not questioned (primarily because we had not formulated any means of higher thought) because they served to keep us alive.

    In caveman times, the urge to kill or hurt something was out of a sense of protection, and served to feed our family and keep us alive against predators. Now, like a tennis ball on a football field, the core mechanics that make us human haven't changed, but our situation has. We still possess the "fight or flight" adrenal reflex against any real or perceived threats (even if it's simply someone yelling at you or challenging your authority on something minor) and, some of us more than others, find ourselves in a sort of barely contained rage on more occasions than we would care to admit. One moment of weakness - lose your resolve for just a second and give in to instinct - and BAM, an assault charge changes the rest of your life. Violence is no longer needed for survival (excluding extreme scenarios) and society does not tolerate it for any reason other than controlled sport. Yet the drive to be violent remains.

    We also used to have to have sex with as many women as was possible in order to give our genes the highest probability of saturating the gene pool. Those with the stronger genes, as we still observe in other animals in nature, are more likely to successfully mate and successfully pass on those stronger genes to subsequent generations. This results in a stronger overall population of a given species over the course of many many generations. Genes that do not result in traits that favor species survival and propagation in a given environment die out, while those that do help us survive and mate are passed on. Thus we end up with different looking people in different locations (races) depending on terrain related survival and evolution.

    The drive still exists in the males of the human species to propagate with as wide a variety of females as is possible. Of course, society dictates (with the exception of some select lifestyle choices that are become gradually more popular) that this behavior is no longer socially acceptable. Instead, we are told that only monogamy is acceptable, and anything else has even become criminally punishable! Can anyone but a male relate to how hard it is to NOT mate with someone when the opportunity is available, regardless of marital status? Marriage is social and is based on love and commitment. Sex is a drive akin to hunger or thirst, controlled by an entirely separate portion of the brain. I would like to be clear that I do not advocate people fornicating, maiming, or killing one another with reckless abandon. I aim only to illustrate how the fundamental drives of men have become socially unacceptable.

    Even something more mild, such as theft, is relevant. In prehistoric times, if food was not readily available, those who were big and strong enough (the cream of the genetic crop) would steal from their neighbors, if they could, to fight off the potential starvation of themselves and their families. I still think, in dire times, a starving person should be able to steal a loaf of bread. Why is this a crime? Do we not all have the basic human right to ensure our own survival? Ignoring the fact that there are many circumstances that can prevent this situation or the fact that there are programs in place to help the needy, no one can ignore that a truly desperate person can run out of options. In fact, this happens more than we care to admit to ourselves. And ultimately, it is a drive we possess, albeit a milder one.

    What this boils down to is that men, males of the human species who have remained fundamentally identical to their prehistoric counterparts on a chemical level, are no longer able to give into their basest drives. Nor do I believe we always should. However, just because we are capable of logical thought (some of us at least), does not mean that fighting those urges is not a daily struggle. Not all men who cheat are cheaters. Not all those who steal are thieves. Just because a man was violent with someone does not make him an abusive monster. Sometimes, yes these things are true, when someone has no self control at all, but even the best of us falter in times of weak restraint. All I am saying is that this fact should be taken into account.

    What makes it worse, is that we are not allowed to act like women either. If we cry or share our feelings, the vast majority view this as an unknown, and it has been proven time and time again throughout history, as well as daily, how we react to something that scares us like an unkown. We are put down, berated, and called weak. We are not men if we cry. So, if we cannot be men, and we cannot be women, is it any wonder why most of us find ourselves in some strange amalgamation of functional behavior and (at least semi-) social amorality?

    The consensus is in: it is not okay to do what we feel the need to. It's like not eating when you are hungry. How long can you truly repress those urges? They do not go away completely, ever. So while the world may agree that we are always going to be wrong, no matter the scenario, could you at least cut a break for those of us who successfully manage to maintain our self-control the majority of the time?

    We are, after all, only human.

The World That Has Been Pulled Over Your Eyes

    As a general rule of thumb, when everyone in your life is telling you that you are wrong about something, I will be the first to admit that, sheep that we are, THEY are usually right. However, for you enlightened minds out there (if you have to ask what that means, it probably doesn't apply to you, sadly), there is an alternative.

    All too often the herd mentality of our world, and more specifically, our nation, can mean that everyone is WRONG, or at least conveniently preprogrammed and brainwashed into a complacently misguided view. I can hear some of your contempt already. However, this is true. Sometimes, no one can tell you what is right for you. Sometimes, only you know. Sometimes, for the truly virtuous and well-intentioned, the only compensation you will ever get on your decision is the fact that YOU know you are doing the right thing.

    Don't be surprised. More things in this world than you can possibly imagine, where right and wrong have been cleverly defined for you by previous generations and by the masses, are subjective in nature. There isn't a cut black and white. Only shades of grey. Just because no one has been brave enough or clever enough to think outside the box in quite the way you may be doing, and just because you will be judged, ridiculed, or even despised for your thoughts or your decision, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are wrong.

    Some people will argue that right and wrong are fundamental to our nature. Others will argue that all things are subjective. Such is the nature of philosophy. It is the argument itself that inspires us, promoting progressive thought. I am not here to argue for either side. All to often, moderation - a middle ground - is the correct answer. I simply present to you the possibility that all the information you have ever been fed, all that you are being pressured into perceiving as true and right and good, may not be the best decision.

    Take what people say with a grain of salt. Learn to know wisdom when you hear it. Think for yourself. Everything is subject to change, with or without notice, at any time. And, if it's advertised, you don't need it.

Lonely Little People

    Here my blog sits, with very few visitors. That's okay. I hope to make it grow eventually. I'm new (or should say "new again") to this whole social scene, and I don't expect it to take off in a day. Feel free to leave comments, as they give me something to build upon, spurring new topics and the like. Otherwise I must wait for inspiration, which is sporadic at best.

    Perhaps I have been gone from the world for too long, so to speak. I have found that people in whom one can trust are an extremely rare commodity. Something I like to say fairly often is: "Everyone has their own flavor of bullshit, and we choose our friends and relationships based on whos' flavors we can tolerate." The fact of the matter is, I have found myself intolerant of pretty much all bullshit, based solely on the experiences I have had in my life. I'm a suburbian hermit. But, I'm trying to give people half a shot again.

    Someone has to renew my faith in humanity. Being a skeptic by nature, that's going to take a lot.

Adversity

    Often, I lie and wonder, as many of us probably have, at why life has been a constant struggle for me. Never getting ahead; every solved problem replaced with half a dozen more. It never seemed to make sense, and all too often I would, like many people, play the "poor me" game. Fortunately (and many would attest that it is all too rare to consider a lack of ignorace as "fortune" for the downtrodden), logic prevails me. It isn't just me. How many of us can relate? Too many. We have all been prey to easy money-making scams of one type or another - some posing as job opportunities - trying to just stay a little bit ahead in times of crisis such as the one we are facing now as a nation. Yet still we struggle just to pay our bills. It's all about money. Always has been.

    Thinking back however, this isn't new. The strong have always preyed on the weak. This is nature's way. It is pushing us as a species towards strength; the weak dying out and the strong having a greater chance of propagating those strong traits, strong genes, into successive generations. Cavemen died if they were not good at acquiring food. Now, strength is determined by monetary success - the intellectual capacity of one being to be able to connive or obtain hard-earned dollars from another. Ultimately, it is intelligence that nature is favoring.

    Even on a microscopic level, there is adversity. The bullies of the cellular world - virii, bacterium, etcetera - are thwarted regularly as our bodies build immunities to them and breed those immunities into our children. But the adversaries are not gone for good. They evolve as well, to survive the new hostile environment our bodies have created for them, a new flu sweeping the globe every year. Adversity evolves with us, or else it would no longer pose a challenge. This is the natural plan. If every cell in our body is fighting every moment for its life, it is no wonder that the whole of our existance seems plagued with challenges, every day. If we fail, nature has no use for us. If we succeed, we breed.
   
    You can see it at every level you choose to look. The planets orbiting their suns bear a remarkable resemblance to the structure of valence electrons orbiting the nucleus of an atom. The structure is the same. The rules are similar. Adversity is nature's way of preventing stagnation, spurring the evolution and continuity of our species. We don't know what we are heading towards, be it divine plan or the ultimate being by natural design, but we are moving nonetheless and it is all thanks to those daily challenges when viewed in the abstract.
  
    Now we have a choice. Do we choose to find our niche, like many clever species do throughout the animal kingdom? Do we find our shady rock in the desert? Life is evolving on a minute level, even in sulfuric acid! If an orgaism can do that, I can find a way to pay my bills. No more "poor me" parties. I will contribute something to this world in the time I am allotted. I will earn the continuity of the genes I was given. I am a blogger. Hear me roar.